Christmas

Beyond the realm of man,

Past our longest memory,

Before the reign of mammals,

And the even before that.

A beard in red,

Toys in a sack.

Behold the terror,

Of gifts in the night.

Every home in one day?

To hell with your physics!

Past lightspeed he goes,

Devastation he spreads.

He starts at a spot.

We know as Chicxulub.

Red. Red! RED!

All is fire.

The shockwave flies,

Extinction arrives.

The ash settles down.

Quiet engulfs the land.

A lesson he's learned,

About his powerful reach.

"Ho, Ho, Ho." he exclaims!

"I've killed the dinosaurs!

Next time I'll be more careful,

and make my home in the North."

"For I am Santa Claus,

A being of great might,

But I guess I fucked up,

Whoopsie Daisy."