The Pilot: Doodoo Head or Brilliant Wonderchild: A Treatise

Dear reader, many opinions abound about the various humans on this spinning world we call Earth. Far be it from me to attempt to put forth a review for each of them but I am sure you agree that an addition to the wider collection of human reviews would be well within my purview and welcomed by all. And so it is with this that I put forth a review of the human known as: THE PILOT.

An innocent enough looking chap, he stands 8'-6" (43 meters) and has arms like miniature giants. Each step he takes causes homes to fall on Mars, which means we are lucky that he is on Earth. His hair, the colour of oranges painted black shows a wave of the finest silk and streams down his face to form a beard that would make a person who wants a beard jealous.

His piercing gaze shows the intelligence hidden behind them that helped him solve times greatest riddle: What have I got in my pockets. Though this brilliant mind does not overpower and his humbleness knows no bounds, as can be seen by that time he fixed my broken flux capacitor but was all like "Don't worry about it. I was just glad to help!"

But what is it that would truly cause me to even suggest in the title that this god of a man could be a doodoo head. Well, my dear reader, there is quite an obvious answer to that question, if you think about it.

The Pilot, cursed by his enemies as he strides across the battlefields in his loafers, is loved by dogs. Loved enough that some have chosen to live with him. These dogs poop out what is sometimes called doodoo. They also sleep, play, whine, walk, and generally exist in his house. The same very house that has molecules of poop from their but on what is very likely, most surfaces. For this is the life of a pet owner. And it only stands to reason, that some of this would attach to his head.

Tiny and sparse molecules, yes. But they are there nonetheless.

And it this, my dearest of readers, that leads me to claim him a doodoo head. And he should be proud of it. For I am a doodoo head as well. But as to say doodoo head OR Brilliant Wonderchild? I say only this: he is both. For he is part of the light that binds the cosmos and is the center of some doggy worlds.

But that, ladies and gentlemen, is just, like, my opinion.