L.A.M.C.

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[three touch-tone 1's]

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For information in Ig-pay Atin-lay, lease-pay ress-pay ine-nay.

[touch-tone 1]

If you are responding to a notice from the City Attorney's office, press 3.
To check the amount due on a parking ticket, press 4.
If you believe you are ticketed in error because your disabled person
placard or your preferential parking permit was clearly displayed, or
your vehicle is disabled, press 5.
For all other traffic related matters, press 6.

[long touch-tone 6]

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[three touch-tone 6's]

For traffic school information, press 1.
For payment inormation, press 2.
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For traffic court appointment information, press 6.

[four touch-tone 6's]

If you need to make a traffic court appointment, please press 1,
unless you have not filled out a DD form 3018, in which case,
please press 2. To receive a blank DD form 3018, please come
down to the Los Angeles Municipal Court building during normal
business hours. If you have filled out DD form 3018, but have
not reported to the City Attorney's office, please press 3.

If you are not receiving physical therapy but have a relative that
voted 'no' on Proposition 187 * and have collected a notarized waiver
from said relative, and have attached said waiver in triplicate to
said form, please press 4, unless of course, said relative is not
a naturalized citizen, in which case, please press 5.

If you are receiving physical therapy from a naturalized citizen but
have not voted 'yes' or 'no' on Proposition 187 and have not reported
to the City Attorney, but have filled out form DD 3018, please
press 6.

Of course, if you have not had your eyes tested by your local
Department of Motor Vehicles in the last three years, in which case
press 7. If you have had your eyes tested AND voted 'yes' on
Proposition 187, and have your DD form 3018 filled out and
have already reported to the City Attorney but have never been called
in for jury duty, press 8.

[touch-tone entry]

Make your selection at any time.

[here begins the touch-tone frenzy]

Make your selection at any time.

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I'm sorry, but we are unable to interpret your request.
Please call back during normal business hours.

[CLICK ... sound of dialing]

Thank you for calling the Los Angeles Municipal Court.
This is an automated system that can handle most inquiries.
If after using this system, your question is not answered,
please, stay on the line
and a representative will be with you shortly.

[fades out on]
If you are calling from a touch-tone phone, please press 1.
If you are calling from a cellular phone, please press 2.

Dag-nammit

and in my drunken stupor I left one of my cheese strings out and now it's bad...life really sucks.

Indeed

I drink with too many assholes.

...

life sucks..why do I even bother.

Letters and Such.

A letter to the makers Advil:

Dear makers of Advil,

You guys kick ass. Thank you for inventing your Cold and Sinus medicine. It's what keeps me from blowing my head off with a shotgun when I have a cold...well, that and the lack of a shotgun.

From: Andrew Pilon

A letter to the makers of NyQuil:

Dear makers of NyQuil,

You guys kick ass. Thank you for making Nyquil so that I can sleep at night when I have a cold. It's what keeps me from blowing my head off with a shotgun when I try to get some sleep and I have a cold...well, that and the lack of a shotgun.

From: Andrew Pilon

A letter to the makers of Sudafed:

Dear makers of Sudafed,

You guys kick ass. Your non-drowsy Sudafed keeps me from blowing my head off with a shotgun and in conjuncture with Advil cold and sinus makes me barely know I have a cold...well, that and the lack of a shotgun.

From: Andrew Pilon


Sorry folks...Just had to get that out of the way. So ya, I have a cold and I had to work all weekend. I've had a minimum of 10 hours a day for 6 days straight. Today, number 7, I only had 9. I'm pretty sure it'll be the only one. Taking so many drugs that I'm too high to realize I'm sick is about the only thing getting me by right now. There was a few minutes at work today that I thought I was gonna collapse but I managed....at least it was real easy work....for me anyway.

I could have gotten out of work yesterday...Pat asked if I wanted to go home but I figured the money wouldn't hurt and so far the cold is only affecting my head so I knew I wouldn't throw up or anything. I've worked with cold's like this before....Fucking McDonald's. They didn't even give me the choice..I tried to call in sick but nooooo....Andrew's gotta go make food with a cold...that's a great fucking idea and the health inspector loves when people do that!

Anyway..I better stop typing...I've been in a really bad mood for the last two days because of the cold and I'm gonna stop myself before I say something stupid....I already nearly beat the shit out of one of the guys I work with yesterday...he deserved it but it's probably better that I didn't.

Nostalgic Moments

Was just reading a bunch of old posts.

I kicked ass back then.

I can't go on Random rants like I used to.

I'm talking the McDonald's era.

It was my Birthday Thursday.

Got a soldering set and ohm tester from the 'rents.

Pretty Fucking sweet.

I'm a junior crew chief at work now.

Mean I got a raise, benefits and I get my own crew from time to time.

Pretty Fucking sweet.

MOVIE REVIEWS!!!!!!

bet you never expected these.

Wild Hogs - Four middle aged men go on a bike trip to the coast to try to recapture some of their youth and get mixed up with a real bike gang. Hilarity ensues. I give her 9 burnt bars out of 10.

The Number 23 - Jim Carrey stars as a father and husband who works at a pound. When his wife buys him a book about a man who gets obsessed with seeing the number 23 everywhere he also becomes obsessed with the number. The acting and crap was pretty good in this movie it was just that the storyline and script for the movie were just weak. It was slow to take off and didn't really have any surprises to it, although it did try. I give it 23 23's Out of 40.

Blades of Glory - Will Ferrel and the guy that played Napolean Dynamite play two figure skaters in vicious competition with each other. This movie had the same storyline as Anchorman and Talladega Nights. Guy is good, falls and then teams up with the enemy to become good again. Still pretty fucking funny though. If you liked the other two you'll like this one. I give it 7.5 decapitations out of 10.



Also realized from reading old posts that Steve thinks my posts are saucy.

I made some meat sauce for supper the other day.

Actually I made enough of it that I ate it three times and still have a bunch left.

'Nuff Said